Social Media Angst: Do You Know the Core of Yours?

IMG_1090Every second writer I know hates the necessity of social media. Many writers feel that their introverted nature comprises the core of their social media angst. We utterly loathe pushing ourselves to corral new followers, when we don’t want to wear a marketing hat.

Couple that with the  trolls, the spammers, the critics and the mountain of scams, dissenting opinions over simple issues and yes, the idiots and we have a classic love-hate relationship… or one that is barely tolerable. It can be false, cheap and meaningless. All the elements that make us want to break up with it and find something new. However, we can’t.

Like all of us who are playing this game, I want to be a success. I want to reach people and sell my books. So I work with social media as much as I can, then I have these ‘fits’ where I want to dump the whole danged thing. I’ve never really understood why that happens.

Last night, I started to watch a Youtube video by Scott Geller, on the Psychology of Self-Motivation. I was looking for blog post ideas on writing about character motivation. I didn’t think I’d wind up talking about myself! I realised that the reason why I hate Twitter so much, is because I am motivated by a fear of failure as an author which is a negative… and I fervently believe that anything negative is always to be resisted.

I am a ‘failure avoider,’ rather than a ‘success seeker.’ I want to achieve certain goals, I can see the gain to be made by pulling the puppet strings that need to be pulled and I pull them… but only because I have been repeatedly told that I MUST and therein lies the problem. I am not working with social media because it is a positively fuelled choice. I am not naturally attracted to social media. My motivator is wrong, so I go through periods of rebellion.

Add to that the creative temperament and you can see the problem. Creative people don’t like to be told what to do, they don’t like to comply with social norms. They want to cut their own way through the jungle and leave their signature on it. However, they also have to follow certain rules and this is where free spirit collides with good advice.

I need to ask myself how committed I am to what I want to achieve, or as Scott put it, “is it worth it?” I have seen many blogs and social media accounts lapse into the abyss. Today I removed quite a few dead blogs from my Triberr tribes and had trouble finding enthusiastic new members who were active. Obviously for many people, the prize wasn’t worthy of commitment or the necessary investment.

Please watch the video (below) to hear the full explanation of Scott’s ideas. He is an engaging speaker and it’s worth the few minutes it takes. Also, please comment. I’d like to know, what fuels your love-hate relationship with social media? Is it introversion or fear of failure? How far are you willing to invest effort to succeed? I will be asking myself the same questions. I have a lot of attitude-improvement work to do!



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11 thoughts on “Social Media Angst: Do You Know the Core of Yours?

  1. Very interesting reflections here on social media. I don’t avoid it as I used to, and that changed when I found I stopped being fake and started putting out messages about posts and thoughts that were true to ME, rather than wondering what other people wanted to read. Once that happened I saw more people connecting with me. It was like when I tried LESS there was MORE positive interactions on social media. It was a strange yet wonderful experience that I have kept to this day and it also makes being online a lot less stressful. Being genuine is the key, in my opinion.

    • I think we’re all hard wired to resist doing what we’re told, but for creatives, the rebellion is strong! We’d rather be creating.

      Thanks for the feedback and your visit Mishka.

  2. Aw, the ups & downs of love, and social media is definitely like a love affair. I’m a newbie and this is what I’ve found. You can meet some very nice people on twitter, and I have. But, you have to be careful how you phrase you’re wording. I’ve tweeted things that I thought were witty or complimentary only to find – to my horror – that they were totally missunderstood. I literally felt sick about my blunders and I did a lot of apologizing. I never thought it would be so easy to screw up 140 characters.

    • Oh you are not alone in that Sam! I’ve been on both ends of things being taken wrongly. The worse was an indirect insult aimed at me by a professional encourager, of all things, who was talking about my post and made the boo boo of not taking my name out of the discussion. Watch what you say in public… And also, if you call yourself an encourager, stick to that image! People will laugh at you.

      Have a great weekend.

  3. As a writer and an introvert, I share your hesitation to jump into social media. But I do like that I’ve connected with fellow writers, which helps keep me sane in what is normally a very solitary profession. I like the sense of connection social media provides, even though I dislike the pressure I feel to “say something” (if that makes any sense).

    • I agree with you Denise, it’s brilliant for connecting with others and I love it for that. It’s the marketing over social media that I have issues with and the necessity of making connections for that purpose. It feels so shallow…

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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